Much Ado about Marauders
by PaintByGinger
Summary: Parody of Much Ado about Nothing. Sirius and Remus are to be married, but will Lucius and Severus ruin everything before then? Meanwhile, James and Lily are tricked into falling for each other. JamesXLily and SiriusXRemus. AU.
1. Character Descriptions

Hello everyone! This is my latest project- Much Ado about Marauders. I was reading the play by Shakespeare and it encouraged me to write a little parody. So here it is. The chapters will be each scene, and I'll actually try to finish this one, as opposed to writing the next chapter whenever strikes my fancy (hah, let's see how long that lasts). I hope you enjoy! This first bit here is just character descriptions.

**DISCLAIMER**: I DO NOT OWN J.K. ROWLING'S OR SHAKESPEARE'S WORKS

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**Characters: **

Lily Evans – Niece of Slughorn and cousin of Remus. She's quick-witted and verbally adept along with being very educated on charms and potions. A vivacious redhead, she's good-hearted and generous, but sometimes mocks and teases with her wit. James is often victim to her hexes and jokes.

James Potter – A young Auror who was just on a mission conducted by Dumbledore, as well as a great friend to Dumbledore and Sirius. Like Lily, he often mocks and teases others, as well as being known as a prankster. He swears he'll never marry and is very skeptical of women and their intentions, being quick to believe they will cheat.

Sirius Black – A young Auror under Dumbledore who is greatly praised for his skills in the defense of dark arts. He falls in love with Remus upon returning to the town of Hogsmeade. He's a prankster, like James, but gullible, believing rumors and lies made to make him feel betrayed.

Remus Lupin – adopted son of Slughorn and cousin of Lily. He's innocent and easily trusting, as well as a bookworm and a bit quiet, though very sensible.

Albus Dumbledore – A very important wizard from Godric's Hallow, he's said to be a descendent of Godric Gryffindor himself. A longtime friend to Slughorn, he's close to the Aurors who fight alongside him. He's very generous, courteous, and intelligent, but quick to believe evil in others and is hasty for revenge. He's politically and socially powerful.

Horace Slughorn – Father of Remus and uncle of Lily. He's the mayor of Hogsmeade and is a respected, well-to-do, nobleman.

Lucius Malfoy – Dumbledore's illegitimate half-brother, he's also known as "The bastard". His demeanor is melancholy and sullen; he ruins Sirius' and Remus' happiness.

Bellatrix Lestrange – A serving woman to Remus, she helps Severus and Lucius. She's Severus' lover and often breaks decorum with bawdy jokes and teasing.

Severus Snape– Associate of Lucius and lover of Bellatrix, he conspires with Lucius to trick Sirius and Dumbledore.

Peter Pettigrew– intimate associate of Lucius, devoted entirely to his schemes.

Kingsley Shaklebolt – chief of Aurors and in charge of watch. He's very sincere and takes his job very seriously, but often mixes up words when trying to convey meanings.

Frank Longbottom – deputy to Kingsley

Flitwick – elder brother of Slughorn

Arthur Weasley – serving man to Slughorn as well as a musician.

Alice Longbottom – one of Remus' serving women.


	2. ACT I, scene i

Well, here's Act I scene i. Oh, I should have a list of who each character is.

Lily - Beatrice

James - Benedick

Sirius - Claudio

Remus - Hero

Dumbledore - Don Pedro

Slughorn - Leonato

Lucius - Don Juan

Bellatrix - Margaret

Severus - Borachio

Pettigrew - Conrad

Kingsley - Dogberry

Frank - Verges

Flitwick - Antonio

Arthur - Balthasar

Alice - Ursula

Enjoy! And reviews are greatly appreciated. Thanks! Oh, most of the dialog I got from the Spark notes book on Much Ado about Nothing, though there are many modifications. I just felt the need to say I don't own much of the dialog. I'm sorry that the writing is a bit crappy. I tried to tie it in best I could, though maybe present tense wasn't the best choice. Oh well.

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ACT I, scene i

It's a quiet morning in Hogsmeade, especially at the Slughorn estate. The dining room is lit by warm beams of sunlight streaming through the windows, patches of sunlight hitting the mahogany hardwood floors. The long dining room table, stretching across the room, is set with piping hot plates of eggs, bacon, pancakes, waffles, toast and sausage. Horace Slughorn, man of the estate, sits at the head of the table, smiling in contentment as he flips through the Daily Prophet. A glass of orange juice sits in front of him as well, half full, condensation dripping along the sides, pulp sticking to the bottom of the glass. Remus and Lily are at the table as well, eating their breakfast quietly. They exchange a few glances with each other, as per usual at the breakfast table.

A loud pop resounds throughout the room and a small, green house elf with large, garish, watery blue eyes appears, wearing a dirty tea cozy. In his boney hand, a piece of parchment is held, stained with spidery dark ink. Trembling slightly, the house elf hands the letter to Slughorn.

"According to this letter, Dumbledore and his Aurors are coming to Hogsmeade today," Horace raises his eyebrows at the parchment, but a small grin plays at his lips.

"He must be very near by now. When Dobby left him, master, he was less than nine miles from here, sir," the house elf squeaks.

With a resigned sigh, Slughorn sets down his paper. "How many Aurors were killed on this recent mission?"

"Not many, master, no one important."

"Ah, a victory in battle is twice as victorious when all the soldiers return home safely," Slughorn states wisely. "The letter also says that Dumbledore is awarding a young Auror… Sirius Black."

Nodding, the house elf explains, "Master Black deserves to be honored, sir, and Dumbledore is rewarding him accordingly. Young master Black has done more than anyone would expect of a wizard his age. He looks like a prince but fights like a knight. He so greatly exceeded all expectations that Dobby cannot explain all he's done," he praises.

Horace scratches his chin, thinking. "He has an uncle here in Hogsmeade who will be proud to hear the news."

"Dobby has delivered letters to his uncle, sir, and he seemed very happy. He got so emotional he looked like he was in pain."

"Did he start weeping?" Slughorn asks curiously.

"Yes, master, heavily."

"That's a very natural display of affection. There's no face more sincere than one that's washed with tears. And it's definitely better to cry because you're happy than laugh because you're sad," Slughorn chuckles to himself, proud of his little word play.

"Please, tell me, has Mister Montanto (1) returned from battle?" Lily blurts out, unable to help herself.

"Dobby doesn't know anyone with that name, miss. There was no master Montano with the Aurors," the house elf replies.

Slughorn raises his eyebrows, smiling. "Who are you talking about, dear?"

Remus rolls his eyes at his cousin's antics. "She means Mister Potter."

"Oh, yes, young master James has returned and is as cheerful as ever."

Lily rolls her eyes, beginning to rant about the young man who was constantly on her nerves, "James once put up a public notice in Hogsmeade challenging Cupid to an archery match. My uncle's jester accepted the contest on Cupid's behalf but used toy arrows at the shooting match. But tell me, how many men did he kill and eat in this battle? I promised him I would eat anyone he killed (2)."

Slughorn frowns at Lily, his eyebrows creasing together. "For Merlin's sake, Lily, you're criticizing Mister Potter too heavily. But I'm sure he'll get even with you."

Dobby pipes in, his squeaky voice octaves above the others, "Master Potter served well in the war, miss."

"You had rotten food, and he helped you eat it. He's a very brave eater – he has a strong stomach," she mutters under her breath.

"He's a good Auror, too, mistress," the house elf interjects.

"He's a good Auror to a mistress? Well then, what is he to a master?" Lily jokes.

"He's a master to a master and a man to a man. He is positively stuffed with honorable virtues."

"Oh, definitely. He is stuffed – like a dummy. As for what he's stuffed with…" Lily smirks, "well, nobody's perfect," she chuckles.

Slughorn cuts in before Lily can make another remark about James. "Please don't take my niece the wrong way. James and Lily have been waging a war of wits between themselves. Whenever they meet, there's a little battle."

"And I always win," Lily adds, "The last time we fought, he was so dazed by the end that he wasn't much smarter than his horse. Not that he is, anyway. So tell me, who is he hanging around with these days? Every month he has a new best friend," her eyes roll automatically.

"Is that even possible?" Dobby wonders, mostly to himself. However, Lily answers anyway.

"It's entirely possible. He's incredibly fickle – his affection changes faster than the latest fashions."

"Dobby can see the mistress does not like this gentleman."

"No, absolutely not. But please tell me, who's his best friend? Isn't there some new swaggering young ruffian who will happily go to Hell with James?"

"He spends most of his time with the young, noble master Black."

"Oh, Merlin, James will plague him like a disease! James is an infection that's easy to catch but hard to get rid of – and he'll drive you crazy once you've been infected. Merlin, help Sirius. If he's caught The James, he'll lose all his money before he's cured."

"Dobby will make sure he's on mistress's good side."

Lily laughs lightly, "do that, my friend."

Slughorn shakes his head, sighing, but laughing as well, "you will never fall victim to James' charms, my dear."

"Nope, not till we see a hot January."

Another pop sings through the room and suddenly, there is one more house elf, just as green and garish as the other.

"Master Slughorn, Dumbledore is here," the house elf informs. With two pops, both house elves disappear and the big wooden doors to the dining room are magically opened. Five men, who were originally waiting on the other side, enter. These five men are as different as can been. Dumbledore is the oldest of all of them, his hair and beard both gray, though his smiles are jovial. Lucius Malfoy, his half brother, doesn't seem to be quite as old, long blonde hair flowing down to his waist, a scowl gracing his lips. Amos Diggory is somewhere in the middle, and James Potter and Sirius Black are both youthful and mischievous, looking like brothers.

"My dear Mister Slughorn! Hosting my whole team is such a huge burden, but you accept it – and me – with open arms. Most people chose to avoid trouble, but you run to it," Dumbledore smiles good naturedly.

"You are never troubled to this house, your Grace. It's comforting when trouble departs. But when _you_ leave, you take happiness with you and leave sorrow in its place."

"You take up your duties too cheerfully," Dumbledore turns to Remus, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiles, "This must be your son."

Slughorn nods, smiling fondly, "that's what his mother always tells me," he jokes, though he adopted Remus when the boy was very young.

"Did you doubt that he was your son, since you had to ask her mother?" James asks dubiously.

Slughorn grins and James and teased, "of course not, Mister James. You were only a child when my son was born, and not yet old enough to seduce my wife."

Dumbledore laughs gleefully, "ah, he got you back, James! Slughorn clearly knows your reputation with women."

There are laughs all around the table. Remus and Lily excuse themselves and walk over to the side of the grand room, where a few chairs are placed. Sirius and James follow, leaving the older men to talk amongst themselves.

"Well, even if he is his father, I'm sure he wouldn't want to have the head of the old man on his shoulders," James smirks.

Annoyed, Lily frowns at the young man. "I'm amazed you're still talking, Mister James. No one's listening to you."

"Look, it's my dear Lady Disdain! Aren't you dead yet?" James announces mockingly.

"How could disdain die when you're here? When you're around, even Lady Courtesy becomes Lady Disdain."

"That makes Lady Courtesy a traitor. All ladies love me, except you. It's too bad I'm so hard-hearted, because I really don't love anyone."

"Women are lucky then. You would make a nasty suitor. Thankfully, I feel the same way you do. I have no need for romance. I would rather listen to my dog bark at a crow than here a man swear that he loves me," Lily snorts, making a face, her arms crossing in front of her chest. Though, for some reason, the sight of James running a hand through his hair makes her stomach flip. She scowls.

"Well, I hope you stay in that frame of mind of some poor bloke will end up with his face all scratched up," James smirks.

"If he has a face like yours, a good scratching couldn't make him look any worse."

"Listen to you, instructing me like a parrot would."

"I'd rather be a squawking bird than an animal like you," Lily retorts harshly.

"I wish my horse moved as fast as your mouth and was as tireless. That's it – I'm done," James mutters, glaring at the girl in front of him, feeling fed up.

"You always slip out of the argument like this. I know you well," Lily answers, though she feels slightly hurt, not that she'll admit that.

Dumbledore and Slughorn walk over, talking animatedly together.

"And that's everything, Horace. – Sirius, James – my dear friend Slughorn has invited you all to stay here in Hogsmeade. I told him we'd stay for at least a month, and he says that he hopes we'll stay longer. I think he's actually serious, and not just being polite," Dumbledore raises his eyebrows and is smirking at his longtime friend.

"I am being serious, my lord," Slughorn grins.

Sirius smirks, looking up through his dark bangs. "But _I'm_ Sirius." He jokes. James snickers and Lily scowls at the joke.

Slughorn turns to Lucius Malfoy, "I welcome you here as well. Now that you and your brother have made friends again, I owe you the same allegiance I owe Albus."

"Thank you. I'm not a man who talks a lot, but thank you," Lucius accepts stiffly, his cane clasped in his hand, the snake at the top glistening.

"If it pleases you, your highness, will you lead us all to the sitting room?" Slughorn asks Dumbledore gallantly.

"Ah, yes, we shall go," Dumbledore affably leads them out of the room, but James and Sirius stay behind.

Sirius glances around, speaking with James in hushed tones. "James, did you notice Slughorn's son?"

"I saw him, but I didn't notice him," James grins and wriggles his eyebrows suggestively. "Not like you, at least."

"Isn't he a polite gentlemen?"

"Do you want my opinion? Or do you want me to criticize him, like I'd do a woman."

Sirius rolls his eyes at James' shenanigans, "I wish you'd speak truthfully."

James' expression turns serious, "Well, it seems to me that he's too short to be praised highly, too dark to be praised fairly, and too small to be praised greatly. I can only say this about him: If he looked different than he did, he would be ugly, and since he can't be anything but himself, I don't like him."

Sirius glares at James, shoving his shoulder, "you think I'm kidding. Please, tell me, without joking, what you think of him."

"Are you thinking of buying him?" James wants to know, curious. "Is that why you're asking?"

"Would it even be possible to buy a jewel as rare and as precious as Remus?" Sirius mutters under his breath, looking at his feet, cheeks bright red. He isn't used to feeling such emotions for another man.

"Yes, and you could buy a case to put it in, too. But tell me, are you speaking seriously? No, not the name joke again. Are you just teasing? If I'm going to sing along with you, I need to know what key you're in," James winks suggestively.

Sirius swallows, looking pale. "I think he's the most wonderful man I've ever laid eyes on." He admits, his voice hoarse.

"I've got glasses and I don't know what you're talking about. If his cousin, Lily, didn't have such a nasty temper, she'd be much more beautiful than Remus that it would be like comparing May to December. But hey, I don't swing that way. But… you're not gonna get married, are you?" James asks worriedly.

"Even if I had sworn to never marry, I wouldn't trust myself to keep that promise if Remus would marry me."

James scowls and paces. "What's wrong in the world? Isn't there one man left in the world who knows not to take a wife? Well, husband, in your case. She's just going to cheat on him! Will I never see a sixty-year old bachelor again or will all men be swindled into marriage while they're young? Go ahead, then, if you have to yolk yourself into marriage, like an ox carrying his load, and throw away your free time. Look, Dumbledore has come back for you." James gestures toward the door, where Dumbledore stands, waiting, a serene look upon his face.

"What secrets between you have kept you from following us to the sitting room?" Dumbledore walks over, a laugh lacing his words.

"Your highness will have to force me to tell," James sighs dramatically.

"Your loyalty to me requires you to tell me what you've been talking about."

"Look, Sirius, you know I can keep secrets like a mute. But I owe Dumbledore my allegiance – look, I have to tell him," James pleads with his eyes and Sirius gives a slight nod, though he doesn't look too happy.

Grinning, James turns to Albus Dumbledore. "Sirius is in love. With whom? That's what you're supposed to ask me next, your Grace. Look how short the answer is – with Remus! Slughorn's son!"

"If you say so," Sirius grumbles, looking positively green.

"Hah, listen to him deny it! Like that man in the old tale "Mr. Fox": "It isn't true and wasn't true and God forbid it should be so."

"Unless my feelings change very soon, I have to admit it's true," Sirius mumbles, his gaze still on his shoes.

"It's good you love Remus, because he's worthy of your love," Dumbledore answers softly. The man always believed love to be the most powerful magic out there.

"You're trying to trick me, my lord," Sirius grumbles.

"I swear, I'm telling you what I honestly think!"

"And I swear I spoke honestly to James – I'm in love with Remus."

"And _I _swear all up and down I spoke honestly when I said that this was a horrible idea," James interjects.

"I feel that I love him." Sirius ignores James.

"I know that he is worthy of that love." Albus smiles gently at Sirius, patting his Auror on the shoulder.

"I, on the other hand, don't _feel_ how he could be loved and I don't _know_ how she could be worthy. Even fire can't melt that opinion out of me. You could burn me at the stake, and I'd still think it was," James grumbles to himself.

"You never did believe in the power of beauty," Dumbledore chuckles, gazing fondly at James.

"Or in the power of reason," Sirius mutters sarcastically under his breath.

"I was conceived by a woman, and I thank her very much for her effort. And then she brought me up, and I thank her for that, too. But all the other women will have to forgive me for not being willing to be made a fool of – cheated on by a wife. I don't want to insult any particular woman by doubting and mistrusting her, so I'll just avoid them all. And the conclusion of this is that I'll live as a bachelor – and, with the money I save, dress better," James announces, glowering at Sirius.

"I swear, before I die, I'm going to see you both sick with love," Dumbledore promises, guffawing loudly.

"With anger, with fever, or with hunger, sure, my friend. But never sick with love. If you can prove I'll ever be so in love that I can't be brought to my senses with a good round of beers, you can pluck out my eyes with a love-poet's pen and hang me on a brothel's door where the picture of blind Cupid usually goes," James protests.

"I'll be sure to remember this fuss you've made, in case you ever do fall in love. That'll be news," Dumbledore snorts.

"If I ever change my mind, you can use me for target practice. And whoever hits the bull's eye gets to be a hero."

"Well, time will tell. Even the most savage bull is eventually domesticated."

"Maybe the bull is, but if _I _am ever domesticated, you can take that bull's horns and put them right on my forehead, as my wife is sure to cuckold (3) me soon enough. You might as well hang a big sign with enormous lettering around my neck. But instead of it saying "house for hire" it will say "Take a look at James, the married man."

"If that ever happened, you'd go absolutely mad," Sirius snorts knowingly.

"Well, if Cupid hasn't used up all his arrows in Venice, where the courtesans are famous for making men lovesick, he'll get you to quiver and shake. Just you wait," Dumbledore promised.

"That's about as likely as an earthquake," James mumbles.

"Oh, you'll soften as time passes," Dumbledore waves it off, "while you're waiting for that to happen, though, hurry to the sitting room. Give Horace my respects, and tell him I'll definitely be at dinner, since I know he has gone to great lengths for this meal."

"I think you can handle this mission. And so I commit you-" James begins.

Sirius picks up, continuing, "Into God's hands. From my house, if I had a house-"

Dumbledore laughs loudly, finishing. "The sixth of July. Sincerely, your loving friend, James." (4)

"Oh, stop joking around. You know, sometimes you two dress up your conversations with flimsy little bits of wit that don't hold together too well. Before you make fun of everyone else, look at yourselves in the mirror! And with that, I'm leaving," glowering, James stalks out of the room.

Sirius stares after his friend for a moment, before turning to his mentor, "My lord, you could really help me out now."

"I am at your service. Just tell me what you want me to do, and however hard it is, you'll see that I'm eager to do it."

"Does Slughorn have a daughter, my lord?"

"Remus is an only child, and his only heir. Do you like him, Sirius?"

"Oh, Dumbledore, when we left Hogsmeade to fight the war, I looked at Remus with the eyes of an Auror. I liked what I saw… but I never thought… I mean, he's a man, like me. And my mind was so occupied with the rough, violent task ahead of me that there was no change the _like _would turn to _love_. But now that I'm back… The room in my head that I used to fill with jinxes and hexes has become filled with soft, delicate feelings. They all lead me to the same thought – how… gorgeous young Remus is and how I must have liked him before the war started. How I must have been… been attracted to men."

Dumbledore pats Sirius on the back. "You will become a true lover soon, and exhaust your friends with your endless chatter about your feeling. Look, if you love young Remus, enjoy it. It doesn't matter that he's a man as well. I will speak with him and his father about the matter, and I'll convince Horace to promise Remus to you. Isn't that the reason you told me all this?"

Sirius grins impishly, "You can see that I'm sick with love, and you're taking care of me the right way. But… I don't want you to think I'm hasty in my emotions. I was going to explain my emotions with a longer story…" he trails off.

"Why speak longer than you have to? That's like building a bridge wider than the river it crosses. Whatever gets the job done easiest is best. You love Remus; that's all I need to know to want to find a remedy. They're going to have a costume party with dancing tonight. I'll disguise myself as you and pour out "my" feelings to Remus, taking him prisoner with the force of my love story. Then I'll talk to his father. And in the end, he's yours! Let's get started right away!

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(1): "Montanto" is a fencing term for an upward thrust.

(2): The exact meaning of this story is unclear, but it depicts James as a braggart and a fool.

(3): A "cuckold" is a man whose wife has cheated on him, and is popularly depicted as a man with horns.

(4): Dumbledore and Sirius are making fun of the fact that "I commit you" is, in Shakespeare's time, a common way to end a formal letter.

I'd love to hear what you think, and I'll try to post scene ii soon!


	3. ACT I, scene ii

So, this scene's short, but here it is. Perhaps I'll have the rest of Act I up tonight, maybe. I hope you enjoy it!

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Act I, scene ii

Horace Slughorn and his brother, Flitwick, are in the office, talking quietly. The office is just as grand as the dining room, only a little cozier. There's a lit fireplace and a great number of liquored bookshelves, making the room look more like a library than an office. A few desks are scattered about, parchment, quills, and bottles of ink litter each, as well as maps and great tomes of knowledge, mainly on potions, a great love of Slughorn's. The windows are tall and let in massive amounts of sunlight, which brighten the room. It smells of paper and ink, a comforting scent.

"Hey, brother. Tell me, where is my nephew, your son? Has he taken care of the music?" Horace asks Flitwick curiously, wanting his party tonight to go exceptionally well.

Flitwick smiled lightly, "he is taking care of it as we speak. But brother, I have some strange news for you."

"Is it good news?"

"Well, it seems like good news… A house elf of mine overheard Dumbledore and Sirius talking as they were in the dining hall. Dumbledore said that Sirius is in love with Remus, your son, and that he is going to tell him so at the dance tonight. If he wants to marry him, too, he's going to find you and ask for his hand immediately," Flitwick breaths out, having spoken quickly.

"Is this house elf of yours a smart one?"

"He's very bright. I'll call him here, and you can ask him yourself."

"No, no, until it comes true we'll pretend it was just a dream we had. But my son should know about this, so he can be proposed with an answer, just in case. Go get him and tell him for me."

The doors to the office creak open and Flitwick's soon, along with musicians and attendants enter together, making a fair amount of noise.

Horace lets out a sharp breath at so many people in his beloved office. "Cousins, you all have work to do. – Oh, I beg your pardon. Come with me now, and help me out. – Dear cousin, please be careful during this busy time."


	4. ACT I, scene iii

Ah, the last chapter of the evening and the conclusion to Act I. It's short, but I can assure you that the next chapter will be very long. Enjoy the story!

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Act I, scene iii

Lucius Malfoy is pacing back and forth in the guest room assigned to him; Peter Pettigrew is with him. The room is dank and dimly lit, the walls made of stone. It's a little chilly, as well, adding to the ambiance. The two men don't seem to mind it, though. No, in fact, they actually appear to enjoy the setting.

"Really, my lord, why are you so excessively sad?" Pettigrew asks, his voice nasally. He is cursed with a perpetual cold.

"The things that cause my sadness are without limit. Therefore, my sadness is without limit," Lucius answers cryptically.

"You should listen to reason, then you'd stop being so gloomy," Pettigrew suggested hopefully.

"And after I have sat and listened to reason, what's my prize?" Lucius sits on in a chair sullenly.

"If not an end to your suffering, then at least you'll have the means to endure it patiently."

"I'm amazed that you – being such a moody man yourself – are moralizing about my deadly condition," Lucius snaps. "I can't hide what I am. I'll be sad when I have reason to bed sad and won't smile at anybody's jokes. I'll eat when I'm hungry and won't wait until it's convenient. I'll sleep when I'm tired and won't rouse myself for anything. I'll laugh when I'm happy and won't flatter and fawn over anyone."

"Sure, but don't do it at full volume until there's no danger in it. Not long ago you challenged and opposed your brother, and it is only very recently that he has forgiven you. You need to act carefully if you're going to stay in his good graces. You have to wait for the appropriate time to let loose," Pettigrew advises.

"I'd rather be a weed in a hedge than a rose in my brother's garden. It suits me more to be hated by everyone than to put on a fancy show and trick people into loving me," Lucius snorts with resolve, "though, I am not a flattering, righteous man, at least you can say that I am honest about being a villain. My brother trusts me now?" He lets out a bitter laugh, "yeah – as much as a master trusts a dog he muzzles or the peasant he "frees" by chaining a big block around the man's food. If my mouth were unrestrained, I'd bite. If I were free, I'd do what I pleased. Until that happens, let me be who I am and don't try to change me."

"Can't you somehow use your dissatisfaction to your own advantage?"

"I use it all the time, since it's all that I have. Who's that?"

A creaking rings through the room as the door opens, letting Severus Snape into the room.

"Ah, Severus. What's going on?" Lucius asks.

"I just came from a great feast where Slughorn is entertaining Dumbledore, your brother. I can give you information about an intended marriage," Severus supplies, a scowl gracing his face.

"Will this give me an opportunity to make some mischief? Who is this fool who wants all the fuss of marriage?" Lucius snorts in disdain.

"Your brother's right hand man." Severus answers dully.

"Who? That pretty boy, Sirius?" Lucius barks a laugh.

"That's the one."

"He's a very fancy gentleman. And who's the girl who has caught his eye, then?"

"Not a girl, a boy," Severus grins maliciously. "Remus, the son and heir of Slughorn."

"Hah! A lively young man! How did you learn about this?"

"I was hired to perfume all the rooms in Slughorn's house. As I was working in the dining room, I overheard Dumbledore and Sirius in the middle of a serious conversation. I quickly hid behind a tapestry and heard them agree that Dumbledore would court Remus, and once he won his consent to marry, would then give him to Sirius."

A twisted smile works its way across Lucius's face, "Come, let's go to the dance. This just may cheer me up. Sirius, the young upstart, was responsible for keeping me from gaining power over my brother. If there's any way I can spoil his life, I'll be overjoyed. You'll both help me, right? And I won't take no for an answer," he glares, daring them to say no.

"Until the day we die, my lord!" Pettigrew squeaks, practically falling over himself.

"Let's go to this great feast. They'll be even happier now that my mood has lightened. It's too bad the cook doesn't like me; she would have poisoned them all if she did. Should we go check out the scene?" Lucius raises an eyebrow, buttoning his cloak.

"Lead the way, sir," Severus grins, rubbing his hands together.


End file.
